The Moment I Knew Was The First Time With You
by SnixTheUnicorn
Summary: Santana wakes after sharing her first sexual experience with a girl, namely Brittany, and discovers that it meant more to her than she thought it could. This is meant to be what inspired the Brittana glance during "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face".
1. Awakening

Last night's conquest had been a success in my eyes. I had unveiled the great mystery for her (and secretly me) in my own bed, and I was proud to take care of her, knowing that she trusted me to do so. It was strange when I awoke in the morning to discover myself nestled closely with my nose against her neck and her arm wrapped around me gently, protectively; stranger still to sense the remnants of a deep connection. I'm not one for attachment, yet in inviting her into my personal boudoir I couldn't simply leave the place quietly before she woke up. Even so, I didn't want to be there when she would wake, so I groggily slinked out of bed and examined the body I left behind. It stirred against the sudden loss of its accompanying warmth, but the breathing remained full and steady. Phase one of my getaway was complete.

Next I searched for an excuse. I could've gone to the kitchen and fixed myself something for a midmorning nosh, but then when she'd risen I was sure she'd expect that I'd prepared breakfast for her. I couldn't let her assume anything. I am not that hospitable nor am I looking for a reason to have her stick around. I decided I would shower – I could not be disturbed in there and if I lingered long enough she would probably, in a state of awkwardness, feel compelled to leave and I wouldn't have to face her again.

Ever so delicately I pranced into the adjacent bathroom, leaving the connecting door open ever so slightly so that there would be no confusion over my whereabouts. I did not need her wandering the place searching for me or thinking that she could get away with anything when I was within a knowing distance. I caught my tired reflection in the mirror and with some intrigue turned to face it directly and hesitated there briefly. Disappointment swelled within me as I caught the tired and lifeless eyes staring back at me. I blinked away and began roughly stripping off the clothing I'd hastily slipped into post-coitus. It wasn't until my shirt slumped to the floor that I'd noticed it had been inverted when it was on me. My pair of very short athletic shorts teasingly clung to the place just below my hipbones and just above the line of scrimmage. I snuck a peek into the mirror again, and this time was different. I couldn't possibly notice my empty eyes when such an elegant figure stood before me. I hadn't much to be proud of in my life, but in this moment I relished in one thing that I did have. The tanned flesh of my small frame was highlighted brilliantly by the bathroom lights, as if I was in some sort of playboy studio and they were setting up for a photo shoot featuring yours truly. Rotating slightly as I continued my admiration I couldn't help the sly smile that formed upon my lips when I had the perfect view of my flat stomach, perky yet somewhat small tits, and tight ass all at once. Running my hands lightly over my skin caused a delightful tingle to rush through me that ended as quickly as it started, but the aftermath was delightful. It brought forth a suppressed memory of a past lover – the only one that had ever held significance for me – and I shook my head as I tried to smother the thought once again.

Deciding my moment of vanity was only leading me down an unsafe path, I turned to grab a cozy towel and stepped in the direction of the shower. I slid open the obscure glass door and directed the handle to a steaming hot degree. I shut the door once more and turned to hang my towel in a convenient location when a sudden grasp withheld me from behind.

I inhaled sharply, unable to immediately register what had just happened to me. A barely clothed body pressed into my bare one, wrapping itself around this victim to avoid any chance of escape. I'd been hunted, and I'd been won without warning. I clutched the towel into myself for some attempt of security while I remained seized. My eyes rested upon the pale arms hugging me. I wanted to shove them away, but I was peculiarly frozen. I felt suddenly vulnerable and I began to tremble as if a cold breeze passed over me. She didn't seem to understand how uncomfortable I felt, or else she was insensitively torturing me.

"Good morning, Beautiful," she hummed with the utmost sincerity. She hovered dangerously close to my ear standing on her toes to reach my figure that shied away; her warm breath causing mine to catch in my throat. I couldn't remember the last time I was genuinely referred to as beautiful – unquestionably hot and sexy on numerous occasions, but beautiful didn't seem to be a word any previous encounter used to describe me. It made it difficult to believe, yet her words were innocent, seemingly only capable of echoing the truth. This simple remark confused me and my head started to spin.

Her grip loosened around me as she waited expectantly for me to turn to face her. I complied and found myself unnervingly nose to nose with her. I scanned everywhere save her eyes. I refused to be trapped within those sapphire spheres again. In my frantic distractions I noticed her messy blonde hair had started to return to its original wavy nature – sleep fought the flat iron and triumphed. I noticed her fair complexion was lightly dusted with freckles, something I was blind to in the evening's candlelight. It was rather charming, as though some spritely creatures had kissed her face. I felt obliged to contribute to their work, but before instinct could drown out my screaming mind I found myself desperately fighting the weakness in my legs. It took all of my strength to remain standing when she came across the sweet spot at the base of my neck. She ghosted her lips across my collar bone and the ability to see was momentarily stolen from me. I exhaled audibly, much to her delight and my chagrin. She must have deceived me for I deemed it impossible for someone so confessedly virginal to so quickly learn to do the things she was doing now.

She treated me like someone her heart was devoted to, and while it made the sensations all the better it also made me feel all the more defenseless. In my dizzying exposure I'd lost the last of my strength and unwillingly collapsed into her. Lovingly she supported me with little effort and stroked my dark hair away from my face as I let my head hang. With a single hand she cupped my strong jaw line and lifted her thumb to caress my cheek. She followed through by bringing my face up to hers and what followed was inevitable. My eyes locked onto hers and could stray no more. The crystal blue revealed unspoken affection and invited my own repressed thoughts as they were stolen from me. My vision became misty as I was drowned in such openness. Internally I cursed myself for allowing such a sign of weakness to become evident. When did I lose control? Never before had I felt so helpless. However in this moment I realized something new – I was content with being soft. Moreover, I welcomed these forgotten sentiments despite my insecurities.

While this newfound recognition perplexed me, I had little time to think on it for my mind failed me, keeping up with the body that continued to betray me as it surrendered itself into this other blossoming woman's captivity. My hands attached themselves to her waist, and one ventured decidedly farther, dipping into the dimpled small of her back. This caused an unexpected yet pleasurable shiver to course through her body and she perceived it to be permission granted. She grinned naively before travelling the short distance to come crashing into my parted lips. Her hands massaged my face and neck as my arms pulled her in closer, daring any outside force to just try to break this bond.

A warm tongue politely fondled mine before challenging it to a duel. As difficult as it is for me to admit, somehow she reigned victorious and investigated a new environment. In her explorations she traced the space behind my front teeth with the tip of her tongue that resulted in an intimidated squeak from me. It startled her and she withdrew, but when she glimpsed my flushed face she instead resolved to be pleased with her work. Almost instantly she returned to capture my swollen lips and this time she kissed with more hunger. With great vigor I felt her body surge against mine, undulating skillfully yet unpredictably, and all the while guiding my hips and abs to move rhythmically, never losing contact with hers. A soft curse in my childhood language left my lips as I felt overwhelmed with not just the physical sensations but also the indiscernible emotional ones. Her lips curled upward against mine into a small smile of pride, but this time she continued her pursuit. My strength diminishing again, I slowed our dance and was met with a small cry of protest. She attempted to fortify me once more, moving her mouth's attention along my jaw before pausing to concentrate just beneath my ear, and then nipping at the lobe before continuing down my neck. Breaths were heaving, hearts were racing, and blood was pumping furiously in a great rush to bring oxygen to the exhausted extensions that continued gliding artfully across smooth and supple surfaces.

She voiced my name – with great infatuation, to my alarm. No one ever used my name during intimacy – it was far too personal. What gave her such entitlement? I had to remind myself that she probably didn't know any better. Although, I couldn't help the thrill I experienced following my instinctive alarm. I longed for her to say it again. Yes, this was getting far too personal.

My pulse beat faster as I became more sensitive to everything I was feeling as well as simultaneously clumsier in my returning favors. Impulses became nearly impossible to stifle. Her tongue was like liquid fire on my neck, manipulating one particular spot with such vigor that I knew would render a series of scarves to be necessary accessories over the following days. Ordinarily I would've been annoyed at something so territorial, but I silently screamed for her to continue. She removed herself from my neck, taking a moment to appreciate her efforts as I gasped for air. For the first time I witnessed a devilish smirk appear across those lips and I lost all that remained of my resistance. This time I initiated one passionate and final kiss, exhaling into her, expelling all of my freshly attained air and consequently filling her lungs to revitalize her, and that it did. My forearms tensed as I lifted her up again from her impressive back bent position. Thank goodness she was a dancer with impressive flexibility for I got carried away and dipped her as I leaned in to annex control once again with renewed confidence. I finished with a chaste peck to her pouted bottom lip before smiling triumphantly.

She appeared discouraged by my last communication, and with unexpected sadness her shoulders hunched forward and she backed away from me. Guilt struck me with the comprehension that I'd hurt her by demonstrating that I had something to prove – that this was all a game to me. Clearly it was more to her . . . perhaps it was becoming more for me as well.

"Wait," I soothed just as she shifted dejected eyes. I could hardly believe my next request – as someone who despised being revealed I was going to put myself into what felt like one of the most revealing positions of all. Why would I do this to myself?

"Come with me," I invited as I nodded in the direction of the shower, still releasing amounts of steam that filled the bathroom and contributed to the beads of sweat resting upon our skin.

Without a second thought she beamed at me and practically skipped along the bathroom tile before barreling into me with an enthusiastic hug. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't like me, yet I couldn't help but give away to her childlike antics every time. They really were endearing. With ease she slipped out of her clothes, tossing them next to those already littering the floor. She gracefully slithered her hand into mine, entwining our fingers and allowing me to guide her into the hot shower, though admittedly by that point I required a cold one.

From that moment on no tingle in my body would make me think of what's-his-name ever again. No longer was I hung up on his bad boy image or the idea of us as a power couple. The only one who mattered was her and I couldn't wait to share a glance with her again – the only pair of eyes that reached beyond the stone cold veil of mine with such an intense power that both terrified and delighted me by filling the void there. Though I did not understand entirely what was going on between us, I did know that I was never leaving her side again.


	2. Blanket

In celebration of Glee's latest episode showcasing Brittana love, I present you with an initially unintended second instalment of this story. I decided to continue based on the support of those who have been reading. Thank you for your encouragement, and I hope you find this chapter gratifying. ~ S

Note: The following definition may be helpful in understanding the relevance of the chapter title.

To _blanket_ someone is to keep someone safe and to give him/her/hir love. It is used as a term of affection. [Source: _Living with Michael Jackson, documentary]_

* * *

><p>I grimaced as the first bullets of water crashed against my skin. It was a little too hot for my liking and caused some temporarily sensitive pink marks across a third of my body as I reached through the jet stream to adjust the temperature. The significantly kinder water cascaded all over me before the realisation struck and awkwardness returned. There was no good way for the both of us to have a shower simultaneously. My family was well off but my personal bathroom was not accessorised with a second shower head - how I envied those special hotel perks. What an innocent thought! How could I have so quickly forgotten that there was little else we were here to do but engage in shower sex? I suppose the therapeutic relief that the water provided led me into a false sense of security. I bought myself some time by assuring that my hair was thoroughly soaked. Tilting my head upwards with closed eyes, I felt the water wash away the discomfort from my face. Deciding I could hesitate no longer, I turned away from the shower head to face her, formulating my plan of action as I did. I remembered the lust from moments ago, and the thought blazed a fire deep in my stomach. My body was ready. I was about to get my mac on.<p>

Maybe not. She stood a bit farther away than I anticipated. Her body had only been lightly misted. Was she nervous? If so, this was the first time that I'd witnessed it. She stepped forward somewhat timidly and moved past me into the water with her arms folded tightly against her. How could I be so thoughtless? She was cold.

"Sorry," I mumbled through my embarrassment. She gave a soft smile that calmed my concern. She let the water ford across her body, and I couldn't help but watch as her hands assisted unnecessarily. Her hair, I noticed now, had been tucked up into a messy bun and she spared it from the stream. Naturally I was surprised when she reached for the bottle of TRESemmé.

"Um, Brittany?" I began diffidently, not wanting to sound reproachful in my explanation.

"Hmm?" she responded cheerfully as she took me by the wrist and pulled me closer, almost into her, so that both of us were partially submersed in the warmth of the water. We were practically in a standing spooning position, except that she maintained a teasing distance. For a moment all I could feel was the graze of stiff nipples on my upper back, and I felt her chest rise with a sharp breath from our contact before shuddering away. An involuntary whimper accompanied my discouraged exhale over the now exacerbated ache in my stomach. I begged that she didn't hear my weakness.

She did. Gathering my dangling hair, she moved it to the side and over my right shoulder. She placed an immaculate kiss just below my neck to comfort me. Her sympathy was sweet rather than judgmental and rose out of shared emotion rather than pity - an unfamiliar yet welcome gesture. Suddenly I sensed a new feeling envelop my body and mind. With this girl, I felt safe.

With her I could hide away from the troubles of high school, boyfriends, life . . . Yet with her I did not have to hide myself. With her I could see untarnished goodness. These discoveries were strange. I'd always been aware of her wonderful qualities and I'd always known that our childhood friendship was the most special thing I'd held onto in my life, yet in giving in to the desire to add physicality to our relationship I found that although my mind demanded I maintain distance before further debauchery or susceptibility ensued, my heart had found a deeper level of understanding that was undeniably pure. After all, with Brittany, how could it not be? But what did that say about me? What did that mean for us? Despite my newfound confusion, I did not dare investigate for answers.

Thankfully she brought me out of the thoughts that twisted themselves around each other in my head. This new contact was an unexpected action, though a pleasurable one. Her fingers were buried deep in my locks, massaging my scalp with great care. It felt so heavenly that I could have let her go on for the next hour. Once she concluded that the bubbles on my head were now abundant due to her own playful enjoyment rather than necessity, she pulled me backwards just enough to get my head underneath the water. She gingerly pressed my head down in order to give herself better access to my nape. She was quite thorough, indeed. I sputtered as my hair fell in front of my face, meeting my nose and mouth with an unwelcome stream of water. It stopped as I was pushed away again, though I couldn't see a thing with all of the dark, wet hair in front of my face. She turned me around and giggled over my current state.

"Britt . . ." I attempted to scold, though it sounded more like a five-year-old's whine. I wanted to be irritated, but it was too hard when she was so endearing. She stopped my rising hands from unblinding me and instead lifted my hair away herself. She brushed aside a few short strands that clung to my eyes and once all was clear, she kissed each of my eyelids as a mother would kiss that same five-year-old to alleviate her distress. My eyes fluttered open to find a loving pair peering back at them.

"There you are!" she grinned as though I'd been lost and she'd finally found me. When I thought about it, I realized that although I had been metaphorically lost, she always knew where I was and it was I who discovered that what I've been searching for was standing right beside me, as she had for years. It was I who had only now found what was missing. How foolish I had been.

Upon raised toes, I leaned upward to kiss her - it seemed more appropriate than a simple 'You're adorable. Thank you.' Sometimes there just aren't enough words to say what you want to say. I lingered upon her lips a mite longer than I'd initially intended, but without regret. As I started to descend, this time it was she who couldn't bear to lose contact. She put her arms around me and pulled me flush against her. Our figures fit so naturally together. The warmth of her body invigorated mine. I pressed a kissed to her clavicle before resting my cheek against it. My nose caressed her neck as my forehead found its nook beneath her chin. She relaxed her jaw upon the top of my head, holding us together. She hummed complacently and I closed my smiling eyes.

After several long moments together in this away, I felt her stir above me. I left my secure place at her neck to see what caught her attention. She was staring at her hands and pressing her fingers together, noticing how wrinkled they had become. She scrunched her nose as she examined them.

"You okay, B?"

"This is like the time we got caught in the rain," she remarked after a moment, not averting her gaze.

"Britt, that was the backyard sprinkler system,"

"See? They're both fake rain. And they both do this," she resolved, finally losing interest in her hands.

"I guess you're right," I surrendered. She had a knack for knowing things in ways that most people couldn't comprehend. I'd learned how special and admirable it is, but also how troublesome it could sometimes be. And so, long ago I made it my responsibility to look out for her.

"Santana?"

"Yeah?" I'd been in my head again. It's a difficult habit for me to break.

"Do you think we can get caught in the real rain?" she requested. I shivered at the not-so-pleasant thought of getting soaked through my clothes in muggy air and cold rain with tangled hair and mascara running down my cheeks.

"I don't know, B. It happens. I guess if you want to . . ." I hated to disappoint her, but I wasn't so great at masking my resistance.

"It's just, I want to kiss you like Noah and Allie kiss in The Notebook . . ."

"Brittany . . ." I murmured, hoping I hadn't disheartened her. How could I deny such a romantic wish? "Of course we can. Guess what! It's supposed to rain this weekend." For Brittany's sake, I hoped that the local weatherman's predictions were accurate this week.

". . . and how Peter and MJ kissed in Spiderman," she added devilishly. Seeing as Peter was hanging upside down in the movie, I wasn't sure how she expected to pull off that stunt, but I wouldn't bother questioning for now.

"Okay," I chuckled.

"Good. Now, c'mere and let me finish you," she commanded. I'd nearly forgotten that I was barely halfway through the shower. Maybe this was what it was like in Brittany's head . . . you become enthralled with something to the extent that you forget about everything else. I couldn't let that happen to me too frequently - somebody had to be sensible enough to look out for her, and she already did so much for me.

My haven, my sanctuary - as you care for me so shall I protect you.


End file.
